Summer 2013
Since the start of the organization, I, Helena, have been helping with administrative matters. In the summer of 2013, I finally got the chance to go to Montenegro to stay at the orphanage and help with summer activities. I was also joined by my friend Emma, ​​who also wanted to volunteer. Since none of us understand the language, we were a little nervous, and therefore, after a conversation, concluded that a group of younger children was a good start.
We are welcomed by a hugely beautiful view. The orphanage is beautifully located right on the water and the house is clearly architectural. Milos, one of the organization’s study aid staff and also my cousin shows around the orphanage and talks about their working methods and methods. The children live in groups in different corridors, groups that are divided into ‘families’, food is collected in a large soup kitchen and the dishes are then left there. Anyone who is quick to come to the conclusion now realizes that the children who grow up in the orphanage have never been in a kitchen, or even washed, when those who are 18 years of age are thrown out into the world.

Day 1 we meet our family. Eight children aged 2-4 we will help take care of. It’s a staggeringly hot day so we go down to the beach together to play in the water. We are first down but soon it will be filled with more and more “families” with one or a maximum of two adults. The first day we are a little worried, is not it too few adults for so many children on the beach? But with the passing of days it becomes clear that it is not a problem. The kids know what they can do and the adults have eagle eyes. The first days go well, the work flows on. Despite relatively short working days, we worked from 08.00 to 13.00, we were completely exhausted after our passports. Hours in the sun and lots of new insights every day. Plus that children are demanding work! We could do nothing but give a great deal to the employees, who have far longer work passes than we do and still manage every day.

After observing everything about us for a few days, it is clear that the adults have a close watch on the safety and well-being of the children. But there are many problems with so few adults per child. Time and again, we must remind ourselves that this is not a summer camp, or any kindergarten. This is the children’s home, their every day and the only thing that can give them support and security in themselves and the future. With two adults in a group of 8 children, two adults who also have different passports and come and go, cause the children can not get any great closeness and contact. How should the staff be able to give a child the attention they need if it is to keep track of seven others at the same time? Especially when they are only there for a few hours, and then disappear.

In our group, we were able to discern differences between the children directly, those who immediately put their arms up to hug with the first best adult, the little ones, and those who create fuss to get attention. We thought it was difficult to meet the children in the way they individually needed, and then we were still four adults in our group. It is quick to calculate that it is impossible to do as two. And just think of the babies who have no one to build a closeness to, or the teens who can’t be caught by attentive, present adults.

The days went by, some were simple and sunny, some harder to handle. One day that made a particularly big impression was the day when a girl in our group was not allowed to go down to the beach. From the beginning we did not really understand why with the passing of the day we understood that it was because she would be visited by her father. He apparently lived in a nearby town but couldn’t take care of her due to major mental health problems. We later learned that her mother also lived in the area, but she was so severely physically ill that it was impossible for her to take care of the child. This girl was one of the most prominent children, she was happy and cuddly, and very demanding of attention. When we came back from the beach, she was a personality change. This 3-year-old girl was now quiet and sad. The only thing she did the rest of the day was sit and look at her shoes. A pair of shoes she received from her dad as a present, and now the first and only own property she had. In that we opened our eyes to the importance of the children having something that belonged only to them, and was not something that belonged to the group and when that could be completely taken away from them. This was something we spent a lot of time thinking about, and we could understand after that why another boy had been so protective of a ball. We don’t know where he got the ball, but it was male. It was obvious when he got mad if any of the other kids got hold of it. That was obviously his only property, which may seem like a simple thing. But in an orphanage that is certainly driven by fire-souls and has room enough for everyone, but where a child does not have a parent who is their safety, does not have an easy way out into society and is part of a collective instead of a person, can a ball to be very, very important.

Trying to sum up is incredibly difficult